If you want your life to change- consider ideas plus inspiration. That concept comes from Jim Rohn. He was a motivation speaker who used stories to create ideas and inspire other people to take action. So where do good ideas come from? First you have to listen. Listen to yourself, listen to others and be open to new information. Good ideas are everywhere if you are looking and listening. Slow down to give yourself time to think. My favorite time of day is early morning before any activity – just sitting with a cup of tea and thinking about what is planned for the day. Set your goal to learn one thing every day. Challenge your brain every day. Absorb what you learn and than apply it to your unique situation. What you focus on grows. I want to keep my brain active and growing- what about you?
I work with some people, who have memory loss. What I have learned is that activity has to have a function to make sense to my clients. Doing something without a reason or not being able to connect that activity to what they want to do is a flop. So walking outside is enjoyable, tossing a ball is a natural reaction, while lifting leg weights does not have a strong connection to daily needs. What if I took that lesson into my own life? How much time do I spend doing things that make sense and bring purpose to my life? How much of my time is busy time, filling up the space with activity without understanding what it does for me? Do I stop to ask – how does this activity fit into my life’s purpose? A curious exercise would be to start paying attention to the value of how I spend my time. I challenge you to do the same. If you placed a higher value on your time: what things would you do more of and what things would you stop doing? Try making a list- it is amazing the difference when you take ideas out of your head and put them in front of you on paper. Then pay attention to where your time goes and how you spend it. Why am I more careful with my money and so careless with my time?
Personal boundaries are those invisible limits that you set around your life to allow good things in and keep you out of harmful situations. I consider boundaries as landmarks that mark my comfort zone in many situations. For many years I was a yes person. I would agree to take on any project and fix any situation for others with no regard for how that affected my energy levels. Then I moved to the other extreme and became a no person to any request. I had to learn to say no to everything because I did not trust my own system for deciding what things were harmful or helpful to me.
What can strong boundaries do for you? Personal boundaries put you in charge of how you live your life and how you choose to interact with others. They demonstrate respect for your needs and how much you treasure yourself.
What happens when you have no limits or personal boundaries?
One example is that you invite people into your life before you know their trustworthiness. You open yourself up to victimization. You find yourself overcommitted and unable to keep promises with feeling overwhelmed with no end in sight. Very weak boundaries can lead to emotional upheavals and feeling that life is out of control.
What happens when you set up very strong or rigid boundaries?
Here safety and control are you key needs. The results are not being open to new ideas or shutting yourself off from interactions and personal growth.
How do you find a middle ground? You learn by paying attention to your current boundaries and how they are working for you? What things have you agreed to do that immediately created a sense of overwhelm for you? What people or requests made you uncomfortable? When have you wanted to change your mind and join in after you turned down an invitation?
The best idea I can give you is try treating yourself as you would your very best friend. Be considerate of your own time. Take actions that demonstrate your value in life. Make it a process to act as your own best friend.