Mediate for Unconditional Friendship with Yourself

 

I thought meditation was about being calm and getting grounded.

 What I learned from listening to *Pema Chondron is more interesting. Her definition of meditation is that to mediate you are learning to develop unconditional friendship with yourself.

 That sitting and listening to your mind as it runs around all over the place takes patience and understanding. When you meditate you are seeking to just accept you wherever you are, however you are feeling right now. 

Meditate for unconditional friendship with yourself

What is unconditional friendship? 

An unconditional friend: listens and accepts me for who I am. A friend who doesn’t try to change, improve or fix me. If I meditate with the idea that I can be my own unconditional friend: this allows me to experience meditation as a journey of discovery. I am no longer trying so hard to do it right. What a relief.  

I have learned from experience within the Quaker tradition of Sunday Meeting, that sitting in silence with a group brings synergy and energy to the quiet space of reflection.

The challenge for me now is to have an individual practice of quiet meditation.

Mediation is becoming my quiet space in the morning. It is simply a way to set up my day. A place to breathe and be still is a way to feel grounded for the rest of the day.

Do I meditate every day? No. I am practicing on myself. I allow myself the freedom to sit quietly for 1 min or 10 min,  and let any choice be acceptable. I am striving to keep making those choices that support my needs. 

I gain value with meditation as a practice. Practice is not about perfection, just experience. That small difference is very important. Practice to learn. Unconditional friendship starts within.

*Living with Vulnerability. Pema Chondron. Sounds True.

Extreme Kindness Week

Collegiate West CO Trail/ CD 12,548

I live in a mountain town, where extreme sports and outdoor adventures are common.

People will spend weeks and months getting ready for a local event because they enjoy the challenge and like to be in top physical shape. I enjoy outside exercise and it does reenergize me by just spending time outside. I think it is important to recognize and start any exercise program right where you are. Recognize that most of us are not and will not be top competitive athletes. So rather than compare our performance on anything to the top elite competitors, what if we appreciated ourselves for where we are performing right now.

What if there was a competition for extreme kindness?

What if you had to practice being considerate of others and kind to yourself every day to get ready for this event?
How would you treat yourself if being kind to yourself was the key to success?

I am going to define kindness as when you recognize all the positive things in your day and appreciate what you have accomplished. Unkindness would be to point out and focus on any mistake, disappointments or things not done exactly right. Then you would berate yourself for all of them repeatedly.

For extreme kindness week take up this challenge for yourself.

Be aware of how much of your talk is positive.

Can you rephrase things to point out the positive side first?
Listen to your self-talk this week and be aware of what you are saying to yourself.

How much of your talk is negative?

How much of your talk is positive?

Do you allow for mistakes and learn from them?

Do you review every mistake over and over again feeling worse each time your review it?

How would your treat yourself if extreme kindness was your only focus?

Take up the extreme kindness week challenge with a friend and see what you learn

Kindness is part of the ability to be optimistic. Optimism is a key characteristic of resilient people: those people who are good at handling stressful situations. Looking for the positive aspects in self and others is a way to build up your own internal optimism, while practicing kindness.

Amazingly when you focus on kindness  in your own life, you will find kindness does exist everywhere.